There’s no such thing as free kittens.
Brian P. ClearyStichwörter: humor money observations observational-comedy kittens
Any cupcake consumed before 9AM is, technically, a muffin.
Brian P. ClearyStichwörter: humor observation
Not only is love blind, it’s a little hard of hearing.
Brian P. ClearyStichwörter: humor love marriage observational-comedy
Whatever story you're telling, it will be more interesting if, at the end you add, "and then everything burst into flames.
Brian P. ClearyStichwörter: humor storytelling observations observational-comedy
When a kid says "smell my hand," it almost never smells like cinnamon.
Brian P. ClearyStichwörter: humor kids observational-comedy
It’s not technically gossip if you start your sentence with “I’m really concerned about __________________ ,” (fill in the name of the person you’re not gossiping about).
Brian P. ClearyStichwörter: humor gossip observations observational-comedy
A good friend will help you plant your tulips. A great friend will help you plant a gun on the unarmed intruder you just shot.
Brian P. ClearyStichwörter: humor dark-humor
If you treat what you value most in life more like a garden and less like a vending machine, you’ll probably be happier. (from You Oughta Know By Now)
Brian P. ClearyStichwörter: inspirational inspriration
If a couple has their picture taken at a wedding or other social gathering, and the woman looks hot, her guy could be blinking, chewing, or even mid-sneeze, and she’ll still display it on her desk at work.
Brian P. ClearyStichwörter: humor observation observational-comedy
Children are like sponges; they start to smell after a little while.
Brian P. ClearyStichwörter: humor philosophy children
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