When you f*** a Vampire, you get a free hat.

Daven Anderson

Stichwörter: humor sex vampire sexy-humor



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Since I can't turn into a bat and fly, I'll still need my bus pass

Daven Anderson

Stichwörter: humor flight vampire bat bus pass fly



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You don't get to be the president of anything if you have bad manners.

Daven Anderson

Stichwörter: humor politics vampire politics-observation



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My turner Mah'Lor is with me forever as well. At least his head is.

Daven Anderson

Stichwörter: humor vampire head



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I hate it when I go into a Snack Shack and they're out of Blue Ice. The other slushie flavors taste like cheap candy.

Daven Anderson

Stichwörter: humor vampire convenience slurpee



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Remember, our kind protects you Normals from the Pures. We are the rope tied between man and super-beast. A rope forever dangling from the precipice.
I tap Zetania's shoulder and ask, "What's a precipice?"
"A cliff's edge," she whispers.
Precipice. Must be a French word.

Daven Anderson

Stichwörter: humor nietzsche vampire fifty-cent-word ubermensch



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I floor the gas pedal. The Sonoramic Commando V-8 growls like an angry tiger and leapfrogs us ahead of the traffic.

Daven Anderson

Stichwörter: vampire 1960 musclecar plymouth v-8



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Consider this a one-thousand horsepower divorce, sweetheart

Daven Anderson

Stichwörter: heartbreak lost-love divorce vampire



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You can't do that, it makes too much sense.

Daven Anderson

Stichwörter: humor insight philosophy-of-life



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How come they get to be gray-haired and still in love with each other, while Lilly tears out what's left of my heart and dumps it into her Jill-The-Ripper shredder?

Daven Anderson

Stichwörter: love lost heartbreak vampire jack-the-ripper



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