A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
Fred AllenStichwörter: conference-meeting
A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.
Fred AllenI like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me.
Fred AllenA celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to be well-known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Fred AllenStichwörter: celebrities
You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer’s heart.
Fred AllenA human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
Fred AllenThe last time I saw him he was walking down Lover's Lane holding his own hand.
Fred AllenAn actor’s success has the life expectancy of a small boy about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.
Fred AllenCalifornia is a fine place to live, if you happen to be an orange.
Fred AllenStichwörter: funny
I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
Fred AllenStichwörter: humor
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