I did not mean to sodomize Dick Cheney.
Jerry StahlI know it sounds lame, but I have to dig the way you think, and I have to feel you get me. My whole fucking life, I pretended I could relate to chicks so I could get into their pants. Then once I got in, all I wanted was out again.
Jerry StahlI'm wearing a diaper. Right now.
Jerry StahlTo me, God is like this happy bus driver.
Jerry StahlLet me tell you something. Boring women get a bad rap. There's a lot to be said for boring women.
Jerry StahlIf you're here for four more years or four more weeks, you're here right now. I think when you're somewhere, you ought to be there. It's not about how long you stay in a place, it's about what you do while you're there, and when you go, is that place any better for your having been there?
Jerry StahlI think that a lot of people are in love with stress. It's the dirty little secret of Western civilization. People often mistake stress for fuel.... to me, stress is just another bad drug that I don't want to do.
Jerry StahlAll of us, at some point in life, choose our cliché.
Jerry StahlPeople always ask, "What's the worst thing heroin drove you to do?". I always answer, "showing up on Maury.
Jerry StahlAt 17, all I wanted was to be a famous junky. Like all my heroes.
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