I said to her "I won't be happy if I get in and you don't," and Mara gave a look and said "Yes you will.". I realized that she was right and that needing people and caring about them were two very different things. I tucked this thought inside me like a fortune into a cookie. It was a secret and it made me feel powerful, even though I didn't understand why.
Meg HowreyI am here. I am in the present tense. I'm not always here, and sometimes here is a very difficult place. Sometimes it is a labyrinth, or a Minotaur, or a rope I can neither let go of nor follow. It's hard to find the right words, but I guess I would say that it's something like feeling the floor. And that it is my privilege to feel it.
Meg HowreyStichwörter: acceptance self-acceptance gratitude alive
Keep making noise, I prayed, laughing. Bang drums. Clamor and ring bells for I cannot stand to hear the tired beating of this almost heart.
Meg HowreyStichwörter: anxiety heartache
I tucked this thought inside me like a fortune into a cookie.
Meg HowreyBeautiful gay men are God's gift to women. They're like a consolation prize for ...well, for everything else about being a woman.
Meg HowreyIf only we could crawl inside our dreams and live there. Why can't I live inside my dream?
Meg HowreyStichwörter: dreams
But if life is what can be called the time you spend preparing for the event, and then dealing with how the event went, then what would you call the event itself? Is that not life? Is that not the best part?
Meg HowreyStichwörter: life
Sometimes it's just better to suck up the fact that you are an asshole and decide that tomorrow is the day you will start being the person you intend to be.
Meg HowreyThis is who she is. She is this movement here, these steps, this turn, this raising of this arm. It's a waste of time to think of oneself in any other terms. For what of us, what of reality, cannot implode, evaporate, contort, evade, disappear? But the body doesn't lie. At a certain point it's impossible to dance loneliness without feeling genuinely lonely.
Meg HowreyI realized I still wanted to dream about the person I would become, not actually be her.
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