100% of half the people I talked to agreed with me a quarter of the time.

“I really am who I seem to be, and I’m coming apart at the seams.”

“Today I ate my manuscript with the very spoon I used to write it with. My book …”

“I can’t tell you how much I love @Gatorade. Wait, I’m sorry. I always get Gator…”

“I’m getting gray hair in all sorts of crazy places. Like all over my carpet. It…”