A balanced argument is one that takes place entirely in my head, and doesn’t cause me to tip over.

“I wrote this because someone put a gun to my head and said, “Write.” And do you…”

“Making art can be a mystical, spiritual experience. Sort of like golfing on wat…”

“I think homeless people, like rainwater, are better off in street gutters, rath…”

“I want to eat rabbit stew out of an empty turtle shell.”