A banana is not a pistol. Still, please don’t point one at me.

“Doors open up for you when you work hard. Doors also open up for you when you w…”

“It’s not gay to jack off, so how could it be gay to give your clone a handjob? …”

“I look like a million bucks, but I feel like shit. Thanks, inflation!”

“I want to end global hunger by feeding half the world’s starving people to the …”