A brick and a blanket aptly describe my former roommate. He was as dumb as a brick, and only highly functional on a bed. Or so I heard—not that I’d know from personal experience.


“For admission to the bowling alley, you need underwear. I am responsible for th…”

“If I had chlorophyll instead of blood, I’d have ivy in my IV (not Roman numeral…”

“I’m bilingual, speaking English and body language. I prefer the latter, because…”

“We shouldn’t eat raw food. In fact, we probably shouldn’t even be listening to …”