A brick could be used as a Blushometer. To find out how embarrassed you are, just measure you blushing cheeks against the rouge of a brick. 


“My car rides smooth like I’m driving a cloud. If I park it at your house, I may…”

“If I spent as much time as I did money, I’d be dead tomorrow.”

“I didn’t have time to grow out a mustache, so I wore a squirrel to the party. W…”

“I’ll wait until your mouth is full of food before I ask you a question. I’m lik…”