A brick could be used as a laxative. You know, “Shit a brick.”


“Like a midget, I walk tall and proud.”

“I look at a woman’s shoes, not to tell how sexy she is, but to determine how se…”

“I didn’t feel like buying him the jacket he asked for for Christmas, so I just …”

“Two days from now I invented a time travel machine out of my neighbor’s washing…”