A brick could be used as a steak knife, and a fly swatter could be used as a meat tenderizer.


“I’m more than just a pretty face. I’m also delusional.”

“I need to hire a babysitter for Friday night. I also need to buy myself some ad…”

“I don’t know the man standing next to me in the mirror. He looks like me, so is…”

“When I first heard Twilight was a book about vampires that sparkled in the ligh…”