A brick could be used as a substitute for the brother I never had. It seems ridiculous, but I’ve always wanted a brother who was smarter than the average politician.


“I bought you a box of karate chops, but it could be dangerous to open it with a…”

“There’s nothing nine-tenths about me as a person. I’m a 100% kind of guy, at le…”

“I made love with a cute woman yesterday. I would have made love with a gorgeous…”

“Love is all around. I don’t need your leftovers, ma’am. Not unless you’re offer…”