A brick could be used as a substitute for the steak my mother-in-law just cooked me. And I asked for medium rare. I wonder what well done would taste and chew like.


“My advice is to just ignore the problem until you’re dead. This could be the qu…”

“I don’t want to bring it up, but you do live on the top floor and the elevator’…”

“Nothing is certain but death and taxidermy.”

“Is there anything more pathetic than a flower that doesn’t get enough sunlight …”