A brick could be used as a trophy, and when you get yours, believe me, you’ll have earned it.


“I make love like a flamethrower would make a good ice machine. But that’s OK, b…”

“If you try a joke a second time and nobody laughs, don’t tell a different joke—…”

“I don’t demand much. All I expect is for you to love me so much you kill yourse…”

“I’m tired of calling @PapaJohns. I wish they’d call me for once. I’m starting t…”