A brick could be used as a yes, and a blanket could be a no. Make your life so positive that you could build a house with all your yeses, and forget the fact that you’d be shivering in your sleep.


“If I had no penis, how would I pee? How would I make love? How would I think?”

“I’ll piss in a cup for you. You can run a drug test on it, or you can drink it.”

“Taxes and Texas—they have the same letters, but only one can go to hell.”

“A brick could be used to keep your sandwich pressed down, so your meat doesn't …”