A brick could be used to knock out the tooth of a giant, and then used as a replacement for that very tooth it knocked out. I’ll tell you what, you knock it out, and I’ll put the new one back in—and I’ll charge a fee for both transactions.


“Nipples—men have them, but don’t need them. Men—women have them, but don’t need…”

“A brick could be dropped in a toilet to replicate the sound of shitting bricks.…”

“I would be up for a sail, but my boat is up for sale. I think I’m going to stay…”

“I wear a helmet when I write, because if you’re doing it right, writing is dang…”