A brick could be used to prop open the door to my heart. But you might not want to leave the Love Door open, because my ex just shit all in there.


“The British Empire covered 25% of the earth. So the phrase “The sun never sets …”

“We broke up because we weren’t going anywhere. I kept telling her, Hitchhiking …”

“Three people are interviewing for a job. The first thinks his odds are 33.3 per…”

“I don't want to work a 9-5 job, because 20 hours a day is just too much.”