A brick is a banana. No it isn’t. Still, I think you should eat it anyway.


“Do you know a man better than me?” I asked her. “Yes,” she replied. “Great,” I …”

“Mr. Pullum is a dick, and if he were two dicks, he’d like to pullum both.”

“I don’t think I’d come off well on TV. But if you ever see me on, my advice is …”

“If I had an orange penis, and an erection, I might take offense at carrot eater…”