A brick is slow, when it’s lying on the floor. But fast when just thrown.


“Would you mind washing my feet? I’m a centipede, so it may take you a century.”

“You can’t believe every word you read while watching TV. (Even with closed capt…”

“I wish somebody would combine tasers and dildos, and test the devices out on al…”

“Learning how to love is like learning how to tie your shoes, and that’s precise…”