A candle that smells like asshole would be an instant hit in prison.

“My name is Mr. Raingold. But please, call me Money Showers.”

“In high school I got voted most likely to get voted for something. Even though …”

“A brick could be used to make love better. Faster isn’t always better. Don’t yo…”

“I wouldn’t want to work in a nursery, because I can’t deal with children. Or be…”