A priest, a politician, and a philosopher walk into a bar, and the bartender stabs one of them. Which one did he stab? (Hint: the shortest one.)

“I needed to take her to a concert, or maybe invite her out to go stencil street…”

“I took my pants off slowly, thinking if I did it too fast I’d possibly rip a ho…”

“A blanket isn’t the solution, a blanket is the problem. I say we burn all the b…”

“My wife told me she’d meet me at the mall, and I said, “Don’t be silly. We’ve a…”