A root vegetable went missing. Maybe it will turnip in my next bad pun.

“A blanket could be used to say hello to a friend I haven’t spoken to in forever…”

“I’m going to go up on my way down. I’m just a sideways sort of person.”

“I am submitting two pieces to be excluded in your show. Thank you for your inco…”

“I just took a shit that smelled like a dentist’s office. Open your mouth.”