A sister should set her brother up with one of her friends, unless her only friend is her sister.

“I call masturbating “Gregging,” named not after a man named Greg, but a guy nam…”

“Don’t steal because it’s immoral, not because you’re afraid you’ll get caught.”

“Life is short. But so are midgets.”

“If you don’t cover your mouth, a yawn is an invitation for a blowjob.”