A smile is like a simile, if you have a mouth like a metaphor. That would make for like the best kiss ever.

“This is a pickup line that’s sure to not work: I want to inquire if you’re in c…”

“May you fall on a fork and get eaten by a cannibal.”

“My cup is empty. I don’t think I’m wearing it in the right spot.”

“I saw the corpse, and I called the cops. But not before I called a 1-800 phone …”