A writer edits his thoughts more thoroughly the more readers he has. You can tell I only have two readers, myself included.

“Television isn’t a substitute for a babysitter, but the microwave is. Mmmm cook…”

“I like making money. I make it out of wood. I make nickels mostly.”

“I rearranged the letters of the word “Wisdom” and got “swimod.” Afterwards I fe…”

“My love is like an empty bottle of wine. If you’re wondering, my ex wife drank …”