After a good run, my legs feel like Jell-O. Somebody get me a spoon and stick a fork in me.

“While I've never read Scientific American, I'll bet it is pretty scientific. An…”

“With that shirt you have on, you remind me of what you look like with no shirt …”

“A brick could be used as a comb, if you’re bald and have no hair.
”

“I wish my stove came with a Save As button like Word has. That way I could expe…”