After the third call from my mother, he comes in in a Hawaiian shirt. He is, frankly, bright orange. A shade of personal orange that startles even my mother. A shade that doesn't say health, it says Dulux.

“MARK! What the hell are you doing? That's revolting. Stop that immediately.'And…”

“Why would I care whether or not the seats were padded?'And then I look up, biti…”

“I don't hate you, you're just the most annoying person in my life.”

“Five minutes later and the three of us are pushing through the heavy, swinging …”