Am I the only guy that holds a flute of champagne like it’s a musical instrument?

“A uniform is like a paint job on a person. I like women who drive cars that are…”

“I’ve found the safest place to store my valuables is in a trash sack. Unless I …”

“Don’t mock my dress. I’ve got a dance recital after work. You’re invited—but it…”

“Return something not for the possibility of a reward, but for the joy of giving…”