America’s been ruined by one word: Bankers. No, two words: Bankers and lawyers. Make that three words. Add politicians to that list. Oh, and don’t forget the lobbyists.

“I heard everything you said, listened to half, and agreed with a quarter. And 1…”

“I’m a model citizen. Mostly I model underwear.”

“A blanket could be used to say hello to all the goodbyes I’ll never see again. …”

“My life was unbalanced. That is, until I found love and grew a second leg.”