An ideal first date should involve things like a candle-lit dinner, soft music, and a binary anal defibrillator, with a guest appearance by Renaldo.

“My brain is an amazing machine. Too bad I can’t take credit for it. As brillian…”

“A brick could be hidden in the dirt, for future archaeologists to dig up and de…”

“I want to write a movie called “The Movie.” Clever title, no?”

“Writer’s want to write something that’ll live forever. I don’t. What do I care …”