And then she walked out of my life forever. Too bad she was hitchhiking. I should have picked her up.

“I didn’t chug the hairspray because I’m an alcoholic. I drank it to style my th…”

“American civilization isn’t advancing as fast as our military is. The only prob…”

“Not only did I not join, but now I can’t quit. I’m a nonmember for life.”

“The living have love for the dead, but the dead have no love for the living. I …”