Anyone want some of my foot long sub? It’s huge! It’s nearly half as long as my penis.

“A blanket could be used to communicate with dolphins. Be quiet! I’m trying to t…”

“This book has nothing to do with cats. Or mice. Or self-motivation. This book i…”

“The best part about a rear naked choke, is the naked part.”

“The list of women he’s slept with is longer than his penis. The list is three i…”