Are you cool enough to live on Me street? It’s a one-way street, you know.

“The other day I found 20 dollars. It was just lying in a wallet I took from som…”

“100% of half the people I talked to agreed with me a quarter of the time.”

“My penis is so long that my urethra—not including my bladder—just my urethra, c…”

“I drink screwdrivers because they help me unwind.”