As much as I want to make love to you, I’d rather make love to your clone.

“My eyes are so close together that when I cross my eyes, my irises actually tra…”

“I like the New York Times. I only wish it were softer, and more like toilet pap…”

“I’d rather go into a competition as the underdog. Less pressure to perform, and…”

“Probably when people hear our national anthem they think of me. A real American…”