At first sign of crisis, the ignorant don’t panic because they don’t know what’s going on, and then later they panic precisely because they don’t know what’s going on.


“I need camouflage that works in such a way that when I wear it, you disappear.”

“Catholic, Episcopalian, I won’t have sects with you.”

“I wish my erection pointed inwards. But it doesn’t, it points directly at you.”

“Question for your life: If there were a fountain machine that dispensed destruc…”