Back when I was a competitive swimmer, I used to dream of going to the Olympics. But then I changed my mind, once I found out how expensive the tickets are.

“Smaller plates discourage gluttony. But so does dining with dwarves.”

“I am excited to report that I may have gotten a job as an elevator attendant. I…”

“I wish my stove came with a Save As button like Word has. That way I could expe…”

“I just recently figured out how mirrors work. Pretty cool. That guy always hung…”