Being in the womb was like taking a nine-month bath. I wanted to take a shower, but no matter how hard I kicked, or how loud I screamed, my mom wouldn’t listen.

“A brick is to a blanket, as the moon is to Sun Tzu. Fear my fearlessness!
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“Ice cream is like the sun, except instead of it being hot it’s cold. Also it’s …”

“Hooray! I finally finished making a new book cover. Now I just need to write th…”

“Not getting laid can be a crippling experience, but then I don't go looking for…”