Being vulgar to be funny is a crutch, and I prefer wheelchairs.

“I love teamwork. I love the idea of everyone rallying together to help me win.”

“The bad news is most of my books are ebooks and aren't for sale in brick-and-mo…”

“Who was where when has no impact on where you are now.”

“I take my investment advice from my dentist, because he’s just as likely to los…”