Blankets could be used as scapegoats for global warming. But why blame the blankets? Wouldn’t it be more fun, and more accurate, to blame politicians?


“When anybody honks at me in traffic, I blush, wave, and shout, “Thanks for bein…”

“The old me is younger than the new me, the me now.”

“Getting a rejection letter from a place you’ve been thinking about is bad enoug…”

“If I’m having sex during an earthquake, would I get a refund on all those quart…”