Boxes of toilet paper make the best birthday presents. They really show I give a shit.

“I’m so lowbrow that I don’t want to grow a unibrow, but I do want to grow a uni…”

“A brick, with its rigid conformity, could be used as a model for how the govern…”

“A brick and a blanket are going to help me conquer the world. Just give me an a…”

“Eat a donut in the face, not its asshole.”