But if she could be here, she probably wouldn’t be here. But that won’t stop me from ordering for two, and if I can’t eat it all I’ll take the leftovers home so I can heat up my loneliness and enjoy it for dinner tomorrow night.

“Before bed I do a bit of light reading. I’m reading a 50-pound book on midgets.”

“Politicians are like warts on the body of society. And the only thing worse tha…”

“A brick could be used as a Blushometer. To find out how embarrassed you are, ju…”

“I’ll take away your disillusionment, and replace it with an illusion.”