Can you tell by where my eyes are looking what I’m thinking? Hint: I’m staring directly at your vagina.

“After being videotaped, I found that I talk a lot with my hands. Especially if …”

“A brick could be used in speech therapy, to cure a stutter. I mean look at me, …”

“Black holes are darker than magic markers, but not as black as my mood.”

“He wasn’t a Have, and he wasn’t a Have Not. He was a midget, so he was a shorte…”