College has given me the confidence I need to fail.


“I once had a professor who could condense an entire lecture into a can of froze…”

“Wealth—one billion, two billion, what’s the difference? The difference is one b…”

“If taxis were patriotic symbols, I’d flag one down on the Fourth of July.”

“I took some naked pictures the other day. I don’t feel shamed, but I do feel re…”