Consumerism has a religious day called Black Friday.

“His last name was Gum, and I wanted to chew him out. But I’ll save that for the…”

“Sexy isn’t my middle name. Lust-factory is, with the hyphen.”

“I am the sphinx of love. But I didn’t used to be. I used to be a sphink—which h…”

“I’ve found the safest place to store my valuables is in a trash sack. Unless I …”