Control your temper, or it will control you. Sometimes even remotely, like a toy car. Christmas is coming up, and for only $44.44 I’ll sell you a gift that would be perfect for the child in your life.

“Agatha’s older than I was when I was her age.”

“You can’t believe every word you read while watching TV. (Even with closed capt…”

“Economist should be spelled echonomist, because they all repeat each other.”

“Sometimes my thoughts are too slimy for my brain, and they come shooting out of…”