Conventional wisdom holds that water is liquid at room temperature. Well, not if that room’s temperature is 32 degrees. That also happens to be the optimal storage temperature for all the love I have for you.

“They settled out of court. In related news, two fish fought over an aquarium, r…”

“I’m exercising my right to free speech, because it used to be obese. For years …”

“I’m in a biker gang. We deal in drugs. Our chapter president is Lance Armstrong.”

“A brick makes an excellent window cleaner, if you throw it hard enough. Before …”