Do you mind if I use your bathroom? I haven’t made dinner yet.

“I’m divorced, in debt, and I can’t grow sideburns. Sometimes I get depressed, b…”

“I remember the first time we made love like it was the second time. We never ma…”

“When I’m not eating, sleeping, working, or doing a hundred other things, I’m ma…”

“My advice is to never masturbate in Cockburn Town.”