Don’t lift my words without permission. It might lead to a hernia.

“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the …”

“I may have written this before, but I may not have written it as well, so I’ll …”

“I never understood the term “Ass hat.” Not until I misplaced my Fedora, and dec…”

“How many midgets does it take to take over the world? I’m not sure, but I’d gue…”