Don’t mock my dress. I’ve got a dance recital after work. You’re invited—but it’s bring your own erection. You can’t borrow mine, because I’ll need it for my performance.

“Why did she want to see me for 15 minutes? I guess because half an hour was twi…”

“Half man, half woman, hermaphrodites are 100% love—self love.”

“I fight with the strength of many lion meows. I love even more ferociously.”

“Somebody dialed the wrong number trying to reach me, but I didn’t pick up becau…”